Screw the American Dream

I’m just so frustrated with this whole system right now. Every time we try to get ahead, we come out barely on top, or under. My husband is trying to get his Master’s degree so he’ll go up a paygrade, but then we just found out that our medical is going up double and then some per month, so we’re going to end up making even less money. We’re paying almost $1000 in student loans per month as well, something those government assistance programs don’t calculate. They also only calculate gross, rather than net, so when they see my husband making $4600 per month, they don’t think we need help, despite the fact that we only see a little over half that. I’ve hardly spent any money on food this month – we’re living on ramen and hot dogs, pretty much. My brother bought us some chicken and some ground turkey at least, and I have some ham in the freezer from last month. I made $20 from tutoring so I bought some fruits, vegetables and milk. We’re still a few hundred short on paying bills though. I don’t want to use my husband’s birthday money (which he hasn’t gotten yet?), but I figure if I transfer everything from savings over to checking and float a couple bills, we’ll only need to figure out how to get $100. And then we get to figure out next month… So screw this. And screw WIC. 

My husband won’t let me get a job, not like I could anyway. I’d have to get one that would cover childcare and gas costs, and childcare seems to be very expensive. Besides, we’d both rather I stay home with the kids. It’s better for them. My husband says I have a very important job in raising the kids, it just sucks that we have to struggle and continue to struggle despite making even more money. We can’t just ask people for money every single month… it’s bad enough that my in-laws buy us diapers. Both sets of parents are struggling with money. My parents retired, but then had to get jobs tutoring to help make ends meet. It feels like a never ending cycle of struggling to survive and never just making enough to be comfortable. So screw this. 


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