Tag Archives: racism

Misunderstanding

There’s a lady on talking to me right now and I have no idea what she’s meaning. It feels like she’s trying to tell me to stop talking about how being bullies isn’t helping anything… I know my posts tend to be long but they should be straightforward… I thought that my post would be taken as a “Don’t be a hypocrite and bullying is bad.” But people are commenting all sorts of other things on it that go deep into philosophy, and then this lady PM’d me and has just now blocked me because she apparently doesn’t agree with me? I don’t know… it doesn’t make sense to me.

I *know* not every person fighting for equality is the same as these extremist SJWs. I know not every feminist is a man hating person. I am complaining about the people who ARE. Why is that wrong??

Edited to say that despite saying she appreciates things about me and thinks I’m a good person, the lady who blocked me was afraid I was going to screenshot her and send the screenshots to my supposed MRA groups, groups for reverse racism (I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised those exist), and groups to make fun of liberals.

#1, I have never been, nor will I ever be, in groups like that ever again. I was in Sanctimommy Said What and I saw what kind of a shit hole that turned into with everyone turning on each other… And then when that other group turned on me, I just quit groups altogether except things that post pictures of cute fluffy things. I’m done with groups.

#2, I don’t side with anyone except those who strive for equality between everyone. If everyone is too busy bitching about how bad they have it, they can’t see the solutions. I don’t want to make fun of people, I just apparently have a poor way of trying to show flaws in all extremist thinking. I want to figure out why people think the way they do, and I am such a stickler for as much honesty as I can that maybe it makes me seem… I don’t know… I pick on all sides, but sometimes I guess it seems more one sided? I don’t know. I just hate that the people I thought were on my side are just as bad, if not worse, than the people they claim to hate.

If someone on my newsfeed posts something incorrect, I can’t really scroll by. If I see it enough, I’ll make a post about it. Maybe it’s more a reflection of what people post? o.O

Maybe I should just become a hermit and say screw the world, let it burn. Why should I even try to make a difference if no side will have me?

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Preconceived Notions

If I told you about a someone who grew up constantly harassed due to skin color, bullied at school not only by the other students but by teachers all the way through even college, held at gun point because of skin color, what would your first perception be?

Would it be a girl with milky white skin?

Racism is bad. It doesn’t matter who is doing it, it needs to stop. Just because someone’s skin is white doesn’t mean they deserve to experience racism. And even if you feel like that, there are a lot of white skinned folk whose ancestors had nothing to do with slavery in the US. Aside from the Irish who came over from the attempted genocide by England in the potato famine (it was a genocide of convenience, rather than deliberate, and when they got to the US they were treated like dogs) what about the Slavic peoples? They make up over 667,000,000 people on this planet and there’s a large community of Ukrainians where I am. They end up getting hit from all sides, being told to go back to their own country, being spat on for being white because all white people are evil…

I know I don’t have all the answers, I know I fall and make mistakes. I hope people will hold me accountable when I do. We need that. We need equality. We need people to stop treating people based on preconceived notions. For some people, dressing in a suit isn’t enough, they’re still seen as a lesser being.

People need to stop being dicks.

Suspicion

I hate the way my brain works sometimes.
That big support group I’m in? Found out someone thinks I’m racist because I refused to take sides (ie refused to bash the supposed racist). They were taking the woman’s words and twisting them to mean things she didn’t say, and the longer the thread got, the worse they twisted it. And then there were more threads made to bash the woman (who left the group for feeling bullied) saying that she said so many things she didn’t say and because I said they were wrong, now I’m racist too.
In a group that big, it’s really only a few that were being incredibly vocal and only one who said I was being racist (although there were more than a few who did not understand my comments despite saying they did. Seriously, it’s like they only glanced at my comments with the intent to respond, rather than reading what I really wrote. They twisted what I was saying too.). But now I’ve started questioning everyone in the group. I feel like everything I read is different, with different intentions, like I’ve been cut off from them. It’s hard to describe other than that – being cut off. And people that I care about thought that I was saying something hurtful and I wasn’t. Every time someone said, “I understand what you’re saying, but…” That but right there told me that they didn’t. And then their following sentences proved it.
I’m just flat out upset with so many of them right now. I HATE being misunderstood! I should be used to it. Every time I said they were misunderstanding me, they said they weren’t and then PROVED that they were. And they continued to not listen to me.

When this happens, my first instinct is to cut off contact. They are no longer my friends, they are just people I know. I want to leave the group. But I know there are ladies in the group who do care about me, and I do care about them, and for a lot of us, this is the only support we have. But because of some of them, the group has become tainted. I started noticing that there is a clique system, despite the group trying to be all inclusive. Some people get barely any comments on their posts whereas others get a lot. Sadly, I’m one of the ones who gets barely any. I try hard to comment on everyone’s posts. I try hard to treat everyone equally in there, even if I don’t like them. But no… Maybe my posts aren’t funny enough. Maybe my posts are too depressing. Maybe the wording is off and no one pays attention because it’s boring or something. Maybe they don’t actually like me. Logically, that’s not true. I don’t expect everyone to like me, but there are some in there who do. Unfortunately, since some of them have shown, perhaps unconsciously, that my feelings aren’t really valid, I don’t know what to think. Being talked down to, being told my experiences and feelings aren’t as valid as someone else’s, being called racist because I try to go the non-violent way… because I love the truth? At least, the truth as I see it. I don’t have all the answers. I just know when something is wrong, when people are ganging up on another and refusing to see it. They can refuse to see it all they want. I can’t stop seeing it. Injustice is something I cannot abide. And now, I don’t know what to do.

If I leave the group, they will question it. As a friend told me, they’ll feel as if things aren’t right in their perfect idea of the group. If something is wrong, they’ll want to fix it. I can’t tell them what I can write here. I can’t let them know how I feel because they won’t understand. They showed me that. They are blinded by their view of things. Nothing I say or do will change that. I fear that by telling them I’m just too busy to be in the group anymore, they’ll not take that as an answer and pressure me.
Another part of me is afraid they won’t notice.
I don’t know why I care so much. I mean, what would happen if they didn’t notice? What would that mean? It’s not like my posts get a lot of attention, maybe one to three commentors. It would make me feel like crap anyway though, because that would show that they didn’t care. And everyone wants to be cared about, even if they’re antisocial and weird.

Maybe I should just leave the group anyway. At least one person doesn’t want me there. Argh, this indecision makes my head swim and makes me want to punch something. It’s so frustrating! I hate social situations!
I’d say I hate people, but there are a few I like. A select few… It gets harder and harder to know who to trust though.

Equality

It just occurred to me that many times my views on equality have been called racist or discriminatory.

Do you know what my views are? That everyone, every single person on earth, should be treated the same.

Rich or poor, tattoos or not, no matter skin color or ethnicity, sexual preference, or where you live, what you wear, what your religious or political views are, what your intelligence is, whatever mental status you are, or what color your eyes are or how famous you are… Everyone’s feelings should be considered. If you run a red light, you need to face the consequences, and the consequences should be the same for everyone. Steal, rob, lie, murder… it should be the same. If you get pulled over, you should never be treated differently based on looks or what car you drive, or anything.

I hate unfairness, injustice, and preferential treatment. We’re all humans, we’re all fallible. There is no one person above another. From that homeless bum on the street to Robin Williams. People discriminate and hate on things all the time. They want to feel special, they want to be raised above others, they desire power, don’t they. They want to be right. Who would want to be wrong?

Am I discriminating by not discriminating?
Am I silly for wanting this kind of equality? Why is it something that seems to confuse people?
Why can’t I figure out why people don’t like it? Do they crave being special so much more than peace and true equality? Or is it something else I can’t see? I desire to learn and grow.

Definitions changing

This has been bothering me for a while, and with a post yesterday it only made it worse. I love definitions and word meanings, but I do not like it when words change to mean things that seriously limit the word. I’ll just go with the word “Racism” right now. The dictionary says that anyone can be racist. But apparently in the academic world, it means “Racism is having power over someone & using it in some sort of institutional way.” I’ve been trying to understand why they would change it. What good comes from changing it? What good comes of limiting the word so much? There is a difference between “racism” and “institutional racism.” Suddenly saying that someone can’t be racist because they’re the oppressed does not bring us together, it separates us further.

The US is different in how whites have treated blacks, and there is definitely still a serious problem that needs to be fixed. Racism is still very much alive and well here, but as others have said, it’s sneakier. It’s posts that say things like, “They needed a translator at the benefits office – someone came in speaking English!” It’s even just a look, a sneer, a simple glance. Body language says a lot and our children see that. And many people aren’t even aware of their own prejudice because it’s something they grew up with, it was the norm.

There’s one thing about this that’s seriously bothering me though, and I’ve been having trouble figuring out how to say it correctly. This one person posted her opinion that had racist undertones and she was ganged up on for it until she left the group. Was she racist? I don’t know, but is it really praise worthy to insult someone just because it’s a sensitive issue? Even if she is racist, it certainly won’t change her point of view to attack her! And because she unfriended the person who attacked her (who happens to be black), she was labeled racist even more and people started talking crap about her behind her back because apparently it’s ok to talk crap about someone. She was seriously hurt by the things said to her. And when I started asking questions about this new definition, something I still don’t understand, I was also attacked, although not as badly. When someone said “A white person being discriminated against is maybe someone rolling their eyes. Maybe not being nice or something, calling then a name.”, I said that wasn’t true and gave examples, and then had everyone tell me how wrong I was. It doesn’t make sense. I’m all for equal treatment, but that wasn’t equal. I hate that it seemed like they were only saying that the main attacker was in the right was because she’s black. That does not help equality! That separates us even more!

So while I was trying to sleep last night, I kept thinking about it over and over again. This comment, “And if a person has felt that ONE instance of discrimination *SO STRONGLY*, then how do they think it feels to have that shit happen day in & day out for ever??” Made me think about sexual molestation vs rape. Would you tell someone, “Sucks that you were sexually molested, but hey, at least you aren’t raped every day!” It doesn’t make the molestation victim feel any better, it makes them feel worse. I have experienced discrimination, it isn’t pleasant, and I can’t even begin to imagine how bad it would be if I were black or Hispanic or anything else. But why should our feelings be discounted just because others have it worse? We may not be able to compare, but it still hurts. And they just talked as if I was trying to compare the two, when I was just saying that it does happen. That was *all* I was saying. But they kept twisting it and discounting any experience a white person has, because it’s totes not the same. Sexual molestation is not the same as rape, but it still makes you feel horrible. Invalidating someone’s feelings just because they’re white is discrimination in and of itself.

I keep trying to be equal, I keep trying to defend both sides, see other points of views, try to understand others, but it’s really hard when I get beat down like that. I want equality. I love fairness and despise injustice. I treat everyone the same, because to me, humans are humans. But lately, I’ve been disliking humans more and more. I have seen assholes come in all shapes, sizes, colors, ethnicities, etc. Humans are jerks, plain and simple, and they love violence too much to change. We smear the name of people like Gandhi and MLKJ when we react with violence. Being nonviolent doesn’t mean you have to be passive. Nonviolence is very active. People need to use communication, they need to think about the situation, understand that it’s above our own personal feelings. But our own personal feelings tangle us up and we end up not seeing past our own noses because “we’re right, they’re wrong.”

What these people were saying wasn’t entirely wrong, but the fact that they weren’t listening to me, that they were saying I was saying something else, that is miscommunication and it hurts. There are no hidden meanings in my words, I say what I mean and I mean what I say. If I’m wrong, I like to know, because I don’t like being wrong. I like knowing the truth, and I want to spread the truth. I hate miscommunication, I hate it when things get twisted, and our media is so good at that and it spreads through our societies. I’m tired of people, tired of emotions, and tired of the lack of logic… but I have a drive to help people understand. I may not have all the answers, but if we work together, we can figure it out. There are ways. People just have to be willing.